Readings:
Ephesian 5: 21-33
Luke 13: 18-21
Reflection:
Today’s passage from Ephesians is often read at weddings as it about the ideal model of a relationship between a husband and a wife. This relationship is to be based on love and mutuality. And overarching this giving and taking is Christ, who is the head of the Church and each of us.
This passage, though, is very challenging when read with the eyes of a 21st Century person. Our contemporary education and the influence of the media have changed how it is to be understood. Far from it being about a wife who is under the threat of subjugation to her husband and where a husband has unbridled control over his wife it is about how the love between them should image that of Christ for this Church and the world.
The very beginning (v.21) actually starts with Paul stating that both must be mutually submissive to one another out of reverence for Christ. But I think that many people fail to reflect that he is saying that being submissive is applicable to the wife and the husband. When a marriage is based on mutual respect, love and total trust why would you not submit yourself to the other person? A husband will do the right things by his wife as they have the same fundamental outlook on life and are united in the same mission, which is based on Christ. So to be submissive is to be under the same mission as the other person. It is not, therefore, derogatory to be submissive to each other.
When Paul refers to a husband as being the head of his wife this is to identify himself with how Christ served the Church, who sacrificed himself to the very point of death on the cross. So the leadership of a husband is to be about emptying himself out of love so as to be in total service to his wife. What Paul was saying was totally counter cultural: a husband is to lead like Jesus by serving his wife and laying down absolutely everything for her and in turn a wife is to submit to her husband who has served her in all ways possible. Through Christ both are totally committed to each other. Isn’t this a great vision of what marriage is?!
Victoria Raw is parishioner of Te Whetu O Te Moana, Star of the Sea Marlborough, NZ and is active in lay ministry.