Readings:
Jeremiah 23:5-8
Matthew 1:18-24
Reflection:
Earlier this year, I had the privilege of celebrating my 40th anniversary of ordination. It was a wonderful celebration of family and friends, many of which were there on the actual day. I think one of the great compliments I received on that day was “You have so many great friends. It was a wonderful day”. And I do. and it was.
One of my best friends from all those years ago was there. Maybe twenty years ago, he was a star in his industry, received a lot of positive publicity, and was occasionally in the news. At one stage, there were a series of events that led him to being charged, and convicted, of fraud. Some others were also involved. Personally, I don’t believe he was behind it. I’ve never asked him, but I personally believe that others acted maliciously, and he fell on his sword to spare them the indignity of a trial. Of course, he may have been involved. If he was, it was completely opposite to his character. He is one of the most generous, kind and unmaterialistic people that I have met
Anyway, it was twenty years ago, he did the crime, he paid the price, it’s time to move on.
Some of my extended family members, who knew him, and knew of my friendship with him, were only too keen on the day to point him out to other people, most of whom didn’t know the story, and regale their tables with the story behind him. A crook. A cheat. A fraudster. And so one. Apart from the fact that the issue had long been dealt with, it angered me that some people, with only a little knowledge of the incident, were tarring his whole life with this one action. I was told I was only supporting him because we were friends. Having had enough, at one stage I stood up from the table, to leave, and said, “Everyone has chapters in our past that we would rather have unpublished.”
I’m a bit of a fan of David Brooks, a conservative commentator from the US. In his latest book, “How to know a person, The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen”, he speaks of loyalty: ‘of being aware of another’s vulnerabilities, and not exploiting them for personal gain.’ As he says, “The older I get, the more I come to the certainty that there is one skill at the centre of any healthy family, company, classroom, community or nation- the ability to see each other, to know other people, to make them feel valued, heard and understood.”
The response of Joseph to the news of Mary’s pregnancy was nothing short of amazing, that we read that he is “unwilling to expose her to shame.” Despite the human hurt he must have felt, he acted with dignity at all times. He was “not afraid to take her home”. I can only guess for those who didn’t know the story, that this could have been a source of enormous shame. But he loved her. Heard her. Saw her. And treated her with the dignity that she was entitled to.
Please, be kind to each other
Peter Gardiner is a Passionist Priest.